Marketing to children

There's been a huge furore recently over Diva selling Playboy brand jewellery in their stores. Apparently, it's a 'cute bunny' and people want it, so they're selling it. A lot of people are making the point that if you don't like it, don't buy it. They're missing the point.

The point is that Diva markets their jewellery, not only to adults, but also to children as young as nine. This means that children cannot help but see the Playboy range when they go into a Diva store. So what, you say? It's not like they're putting pictures of half-naked women on the walls, what does it hurt that there's a cute bunny on some jewellery? It's what that cute bunny represents - that the point. Playboy is synonymous with porn. Plain and simple. Those in favour of the range say it's tasteful nudity and nothing to get riled up about. It empowers women. More on that later ...

I spent some time reading both sides of the argument and looked into the Playboy empire some more. Everyone knows the magazine, but did you know about the Playboy channel where hard-core porn is shown? Movies that degrade women and show them to be subservient to men? I'm not a prude but I draw the line at children as young as nine being linked to this kind of enterprise.

Playboy magazine empowers women? Since when? How does posing half naked, living with an 85 year old man (and having to share him!), being told what to do, when to do it and when to be home, empower these women? They're not accomplishing anything, they're not using their brains (except the ones that get out of the situation!) and are valued only for their face and body.

That cute bunny cannot be separated from the Playboy empire. Even if the young girls don't know what it means, the adults looking at them wearing it sure do. Why should we expose our youth to this at that age? There's plenty of time for that later. Let kids be kids for as long as they can.

Companies spend millions creating a brand that is synonymous with what that company sells. The golden arches, the tick, the green crocodile, the entwined c, the apple with a bite out of it, D&G, car badges. I bet you knew exactly which company uses each of those symbols, right? And you have a reaction to each of them, positive, negative or neutral, depending on your experience with that company. That's what branding is - getting you comfortable with a logo, so next time you see it, you know what it stands for. Do we want our girls getting comfortable with the bunny logo? Maybe the next thing they see with the bunny on it is a DVD from the Playboy Channel, so they watch it.

Instead of spending time exposing children to this, we need to spend time modelling behaviour to children that is positive. We need to tell our children, especially young girls, that their value does not lie in their face, their body, or between their legs; it lies in their brain, their confidence, their personality, and their inner self.

Riots in London

I've read many newspaper articles and have seen many news broadcasts about the riots and looting in London recently. The authors have blamed everyone from the Government down, including single mothers (that makes my blood boil!!), Jamaican language! (what the?), social media (of course), but nowhere have I seen anyone blame the looters themselves!

Why is it that, as a society, we no longer require anyone to take responsibility for their own actions? I know some people have a hard time, sometimes even through no fault of their own, but the buck has to stop with each and every person. No more blaming the system, the schools, the government, the parents, the peer group, the church, or whoever is handy at the time.

We all know people who would be front and centre in the looting if it happened in their neighbourhood. Think about it, someone will come to mind. These are the people who have no respect for anything and anyone, including themselves. To my mind, that's the problem. No self-respecting person would ever dream of rioting and looting, no matter the circumstances. How did these people lose respect for themselves? Or did they not have any in the first place? Where does self-respect come from? All the self- words interrelate - self-respect; self-esteem; self-worth; self-confidence. Unfortunately, with those comes these: self-centred; self-interest; and, self-destruct.

I wish I had the answer; I wish someone did. But how do you teach these things? I suspect it has something to do with what you're told growing up - whether it's from family, friends, school or society. If you're told you're nothing, then you could become nothing. You still have the choice to believe it, or say "screw it, I'm better than that!!" and do whatever it takes to make it.

The world is full of people who rose from nothing to be at the top of their game, despite what they were told as children. Maybe we should be hearing from them rather than these reporters looking for sensationalism.

Couldn't hurt ...

Gossip pages

The teenage years are the hardest to go through, yet teenagers create so much angst for themselves and their friends by gossiping about each other. When I was at school, the worst thing the gossip-mongers could do was write something nasty on the bathroom wall for other students to see. Now they get to write it on Facebook's wall for the entire world to see.

I spent the morning in my Uni class talking about youth suicide. Self-esteem and self-worth are hard to come by and with hormones raging, keeping teens' heads straight is a battle that is hard-fought, and hopefully won.

So much emphasis is put on appearance in adolescence, and if you don't fit whatever fashion tells us is beautiful right now, it can be damaging to young girls self-esteem. And when I say beauty in fashion, I'm not talking about what's in the magazines. Every era has a different idea about what is considered beautiful. Hair, makeup, clothes, all change constantly. If you don't fit the latest look, just wait. Eventually your look will be envied by all.

But, we need to put the focus back on brains, personality, confidence. We need to teach our sons to look beyond the outer package. We need to tell our daughters that looks fade, but confidence in who you are (whoever that is) will get you where you need to go.

To all women, young and old - I'm not saying you don't have to take an interest in how you look. I'm saying just be the best 'you' you can be, and don't sweat the small stuff. Play up the best of you, and play down what you're not totally happy with. Focussing on the positive will boost your confidence. This has an amazing benefit of making you more attractive. I know, I know, you're saying it can't be that easy. Yes. It. Can. Confidence is beautiful, and it's something that never goes out of fashion.

Reverse racism

So, apparently there is reverse racism in Australia. Did anyone with half a brain think otherwise? And can anyone blame them? There's going to be a story on TV next week about it. It will show Australians getting different (more expensive) prices than people of the same ethnic group as the shop owner. Is this a shock? Can anyone out there honestly tell me that, if you lived anywhere else in the world, if someone from your own ethnic group came into your workplace, you wouldn't give them a better deal? Or maybe they're better at haggling? Australians aren't used to haggling - they've done stories on that as well!

As a former shop owner, I know that some people get better prices than others. In my case, it depended on the customer's attitude and whether or not I liked them. If they were rude, no discount; if they were polite and friendly, I would knock a few bucks off the total. It didn't matter to me what nationality they were. Nice is nice.

Migrants and refugees get a raw deal here. I'm not going to blame them for helping people from their own group. I think most of the time they must feel alone and ostracised. If this helps them, so be it. Maybe if we were all nicer and more helpful to non-Australians, they would find it easier to assimilate, and be more willing to give us the best price too.

Put yourself in their shoes. Imagine you're in a foreign country - not by choice, but by circumstances beyond your control. You don't speak the language very well, if at all. You don't understand the culture. The food is strange. And no-one is willing to help you. So, you help yourself by opening a store. Other people see your store and see a little slice of home. It's an oasis of acceptance and familiarity.

Of course they're going to give them a better price. And I dare any one of you to tell me you wouldn't do the same thing.

Planking

I don't get it. I think most people don't get it. In itself, planking is harmless. Lying down, making your body look like a plank, and taking a photo to share online. Silly, yes, but not inherently dangerous. It only becomes a problem when people have to 'one-up' the person before them by planking somewhere with more risk. As we've all seen this week, a 20 year old man died from planking. Apparently, he had been drinking and I guess his mate had been too. How else do you explain that both of these young men thought planking on the rail of a balcony 7 stories up was a good idea? I have a question about this though. If you see a friend standing in the middle of the road with cars and trucks heading towards him, and you don't do anything to get him to safety, are you responsible for his death when a car hits him? At least partially responsible? How sad is it that this craze has come to the point that a man doesn't say to his mate, "This isn't safe, it's not worth it." And not only that, stands back ready to take a photo of it! No photo, no planking. Come on people, we're supposed to look after our mates; not allow them to put themselves in danger. This second young man is going to have to live with this for the rest of his life.

Think about that man's family and friends. How do you come to terms with a death like that? So senseless; such an idiotic way to die.

Online shopping

Is it really all it's cracked up to be? I ordered my son's birthday present 2 weeks ago, during the Easter break. First day back from all the public holidays (April 27), I get an email from the company saying one of the items I ordered (my son's gift) is no longer available. They asked me to email them with my choice of a refund or gift certificate, and they would "action your request immediately". I emailed back asking them to change my order instead. No problem, they said when they finally replied two days later, they'll add those items to my order and send them immediately.

Then, an email arrived Monday May 2. They've sent the order! Friday, I take myself off to the post office to pick up my parcel. They hand it over. It looks a little small and feels a little light for 3 items. I open it. Guess what. Just one item is in there! A rather large box for it too. This item is the extra one I ordered because the replacement gift cost a little less than the original. So, I don't have my son's birthday gift, nor the other item I originally ordered.

It's now Monday May 9. I decide to call and find out when they're going to send the other items. I've been on hold for 50 minutes at time of writing, with a radio playing slightly off station for the hold music.

Ok, just as I wrote that, they came on the line. She has no idea why they haven't sent my items, she'll follow it up for me. I reminded her that their email said they would immediately get onto my order as an apology for not having the original item in stock. Two weeks is not immediately in my book. Obviously it is in theirs.

Typos or just can't spell?

Those who know me will not be surprised by this post. I only hope I don't make any mistakes! Look, I know people make mistakes, maybe have never learned to spell a particular word, or have fat fingers like me and mis-type a word. That's not a problem, but what I have an issue with is that very few people seem to read over what they have typed, especially on the computer. So many posts and emails have simple typos that should be easy to spot, even for the worst speller. Or do they see them and don't care? I know everyone's busy these days, but surely taking 10 seconds to read over what you have written, and make corrections, will not create a problem? In most cases, you can figure out what someone actually meant, but a lot of times it's virtually impossible to decipher. And don't get me started on punctuation. Please do everyone a favour and read over what you write before posting.

Naysayers

What is it about some people who just have to take you down when you're on top of the world? It's easy to say, "don't listen to them" but it's not always easy to do. You know what I mean. You achieve something great, you move on with your life, you make a dramatic change, and they can't accept it. They're probably bored with their own lives and need to create drama in someone else's to feel alive.

Is it an Australian thing to do? I know we have the 'tall poppy syndrome' where we take someone down a peg or two if we think they're getting too big for their boots. Why can't we just live and let live. If you're not satisfied with your own life, grow a spine and change it instead of pulling someone down to your level.

I've experienced this in my own life. I am achieving things I never imagined and there's one person in my life who just will not say "well done". Everyone else has been extremely supportive and proud of me. So, I decided to listen to them, and not the naysayer. I encourage you to do the same. Find people who give you power, not take it away, and leave everyone else to their sad, lonely, unfulfilled lives. Pity them, they need it.

TV Advertising

Have you seen the new KFC ad for the yummy-looking, but calorie-laden burger without the bun? I forget what it's called, but my issue is actually with the ad. It's the one where the two guys are playing ping pong in the dark with night vision goggles. I wanna try that, looks like fun! Anyway, the wife or girlfriend of one of them opens the door, turns on the light (ouch) and then just stands there staring at the guy. In the short version of the ad, she just looks, but in the long version she says, "You know I'm home, right?" He says, "I do now." Can anyone tell me what the hell that's supposed to mean? Are the ad execs trying to tell us that a man must stop having fun the minute his partner is around? Or is it just that women are bitchy and want to ruin men's fun all the time? The way these kind of ads usually go, I'm guessing it's the latter.

Have you noticed the way men are portrayed in ads? We often complain about how women are portrayed, and they're right. Don't get me started on cleaning ads where the women look sooo happy to be cleaning! But, men get a pretty raw deal too. In just about every ad where the man is in a relationship, he is shown as incompetent, stupid, unable to do anything right, or brow-beaten into doing whatever she wants. Have you also noticed that the men in relationships are usually a little overweight and, while not ugly, not exactly someone to drool over. However, if the man in the ad is single, he's good looking, fit, suave and ready for action. Because we all know that men lose their looks as soon as they're attached?!

Come on, when are we going to see some real couples in real situations. I'm sure there are women who like to ruin their man's fun, but it's not all of us. I don't find it funny, but I wonder if men do? Is that the appeal? Men relate to this and will buy that product? Let me know what you think.

Jackie O

What a storm in a teacup! Which mother is game to stand up and say they have never done anything that was less than perfect with their baby? Are you? I'm sure not. We have all done things to, or for, our babies that the 'experts' would gasp at. The difference is, most of us are not in the public eye and we don't have cameras following our every move.

Jackie O did not put her baby in danger; she did not dangle her daughter over a balcony like MJ; she did not drive with her baby in her lap. What was her crime? She fed her baby a bottle while walking across the street. Really? If that's the worst thing she ever does to her child, she deserves a medal. Of course, the media could not leave it there; they then just HAD to comment on how quickly she went back to work.

Feminism is supposed to be about choice. It's supposed to be about women making their own decisions about whether or not they work; whether or not they go back to work after having a child; how quickly they go back to work after having a child. So why are we still vilifying women for making these choices?? From what I understand, Jackie O does most of her work at home with her baby right beside her? Which one of us would love that option? That's the best of both worlds in my opinion. Not all women can stay home with their children full-time. Some because they don't want to; and, some, like me, who didn't have a choice. If I didn't work, we didn't eat.

What saddens me the most about this story is that I have only heard the damaging comments from other women. Is the sisterhood dead? We need to stop competing and start being compassionate. Help, not hindrance is required. And, mind your own business. Unless a child is in danger, it's none of your business what a mother does.

Manners

This may seem like a small thing to get riled up about, but it's indicative of the general downward trend of people's manners lately. My son and I were walking on a footpath tonight and a couple were walking towards us. My son moved off the footpath and I moved over to the far left. I was expecting the couple to do the same, but no. They continued on their merry way walking side-by-side, then at the last second, the man turned his shoulder to give me room to walk past. That's it. He turned slightly. I bet you're thinking it was a young guy - we all know they have no manners ... Nope, this guy would have been in his 60s at least. Are the older members of society not bothering with their manners anymore? Is it because they think there's no point?

I'd like to see a movement back to good manners - holding doors open, moving out of people's way (and not standing in the way in the first place!), saying please and thank you, and just all round consideration for others. Is it too much to ask? Possibly. Can it be done? Absolutely. Small steps are needed, but I urge everyone to keep doing the nice things, even if you don't get thanked for it.